What is self esteem?
What is self esteem and why is it important to your overall happiness?
Self-esteem is basically, how you feel about yourself, and that has a big impact on your happiness. It's all about how you see your worth and value as an individual.
In this article, we'll go over what self-esteem is, how it affects your personal happiness, what low self-esteem feels like, 6 steps to improve your self-esteem, and how to maintain it once you feel better about yourself...
The Importance of Self-Esteem
Self-esteem is essential for your emotional and mental well-being. When you have a healthy level of self-esteem, you feel confident and capable. It helps you to handle challenges better. On the other hand, low self-esteem can make it difficult for you to grow, have good relationships, and be happy (more on that later).
Self-esteem affects different parts of your life, like:
- Feelings: When we have good self-esteem, we feel more stable emotionally and have a positive self-image. It helps us handle stress and problems.
- Relationships: Having healthy self-esteem helps us build better relationships. When we feel good about ourselves, we can have more fulfilling connections with others and set boundaries.
- Achievements: Self-esteem motivates you to believe in your abilities and go after your goals. It plays a role in your success at work, and feeling satisfied in life.
What does Low Self-Esteem feel like?
In order to really understand the 'what is self esteem' question, it helps to know how it feels when you have low self-esteem:
- you feel bad about yourself
- you think you're not good enough
- you think you're not pretty enough
- not clever enough, not strong enough
- not skilled enough
- undeserving
Draped in a blanket of low self-esteem, you think you're less important, less valuable than others. Your undying focus is on every weaknesses you have, real or imaginary...
Strengths? Nowhere to be seen...
- You continually compare yourself to others, and always come out as the one that's lacking.
- You don't dare take a risk or pursue a goal because, what if you get rejected? What if you fail?
- You find it hard to speak up for yourself or express your needs and desires; what if you get rejected?
- You don't dare try new things; what if you fail?
In social settings you feel small, insignificant, anxious. Or you feel like a giant clumsy thing that everyone is thinking horrible thoughts about. You struggle to make and keep friends, you're painfully sensitive to criticism and you take everything to heart.
Low self-esteem can also cause you to be irritable, and to even lash out at others.
Low self-esteem is not a medical condition, but it does describes how someone sees themselves and feels about themselves.
It will vary from person to person - how my low self-esteem effects me and how your low self-esteem effects you is influenced by things like our past experiences and how we were raised. The pressures you and I feel individually coming from the world around us will affect us in different ways...
Steps to building your self-esteem
Listen, building up your self-esteem is a personal journey; what works in one way for me might work in a different way for you. Below I've shared some practical steps that provide a good starting point. Let's dive in:
step 1
First things first, take care of yourself. This one basic and essential. Clean hair, body and skin elevates your mood.
Having clean, well-fitting clothes on boosts your sense of well-being. Exercising and eating healthy , nourishing food makes you feel strong and healthy in body, which in turn increases your feelings of self-worth.
This is an area in which I have often struggled. Every time I allow this step to slacken, everything else unhinges and my self-esteem plummets to the ground.
step 2
Recognise those negative thoughts you have about yourself. You know, those pesky little self-doubts? You need to challenge them. Question if they're really true, and replace them with more positive and realistic thoughts.
You're good enough, so please remind yourself of that!
step 3
Now, let's set some goals! Start with a Today's-To-Do list. Make it realistic with 3 to-do's that, if you get them done, you'll feel better. For me, it was to-do's like:
- Vacuum the entire apartment and wash the floor
- Buy that dress you keep eyeing-up on the way to work
- Write that email to that man about that thing
- Apply for that job today!
- Join that urban sketchers group in Copenhagen this afternoon!
- Finish building that web page you started last week
The more I completed, the better I felt about myself. Getting things done is tangible proof of one's abilities.
step 4
Think about what matters to you and what you'd like to achieve. Break bigger goals into smaller, manageable steps.
Allow yourself to feel good about every milestone you reach along the way. And remember, progress is progress, no matter how tiny the steps!
step 5
Write down a list of things you've achieved in the last 3 months, and times in which you've shown strength. Keep adding to it as you move through life...
Write down a list of things you know you're good at, and things people have told you you're good at. Anytime you find some other skill to add, do so.
Doing this helps you to recognise your talents and the things you've accomplished. Trust me, you have a lot to offer!
step 6
Find and make friends with people who do not constantly criticise you, or bury you in their negative emotions, or drain you mentally, or harass you psychologically.
If you have family members that do not fit into the above picture, spend as little time with them as you can get away with. I sincerely mean that.
Seek out those supportive relationships that encourage and believe in you. You deserve to have people around who appreciate your worth and value.
Maintaining Self esteem
To maintain high self-esteem, it's important to accept and appreciate yourself as you are, surround yourself with positive people, and take care of yourself physically and emotionally by doing things that keep you clean, tidy, healthy, happy and confident.
What is self esteem - conclusion
So, now the question 'what is self esteem' has been answered.
You now know why it's important to you, and you know how to build it.
One more thing I want to add in order to shift your mindset and boost your self-esteem, and that is to make gratitude a part of your life.
I know it's become one of those contemporary buzz words, but truth be told, gratitude fixes a great many things in one's life.
Please, take a moment to appreciate the good things in your life—the people, experiences, and moments that bring you joy and fulfilment. Focusing on the positives can help shift your mindset and boost your self-esteem.
Remember, building self-esteem is a journey, and it takes time. Be patient with yourself, celebrate your progress, and always be your own best friend. You've got this!